








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1680 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2820 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2326 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1680 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,221,395 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xoai- | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | PanTs_- | 47% | 105 |
| #3 | Super | 46% | 515 |
| #4 | Jivetoast | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | b0z0_o | 45% | 337 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | b0z0_o | 45% | 337 |
| #6 | GeorgeOcean | 43% | 170 |
| #7 | Harbinger | 40% | 181 |
| #8 | Wetty! | 40% | 65 |
| #9 | {AM}madcow.qc.ca | 35% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | GeorgeOcean | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Xoai- | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | PanTs_- | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Wetty! | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super | 1365 | 0.13 | 39 min |
| #2 | GeorgeOcean | 571 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | PanTs_- | 226 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Harbinger | 175 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wetty! | 174 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xoai- | +1.73 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | Super | +1.42 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | GeorgeOcean | +1.01 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Wetty! | +0.71 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Homeless | +0.60 | 57 | 47 |





