








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4853 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3103 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2737 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,528 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laurachhe ♡ʷʰⁱˢᵖᵉʳ | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Xx_Mast3rKush__xX | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | My Weenor Big | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | star | 51% | 195 |
| #5 | ALFARU | 44% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | star | 51% | 195 |
| #5 | ALFARU | 44% | 175 |
| #6 | arzee | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | 毛泽东 | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | MentalMike | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arzee | 15 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | star | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | My Weenor Big | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Xx_Mast3rKush__xX | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | MentalMike | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | star | 270 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | ALFARU | 230 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | arzee | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | MentalMike | 87 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xx_Mast3rKush__xX | 75 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arzee | +3.67 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Xx_Mast3rKush__xX | +2.72 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | ALFARU | +1.93 | 62 | 44 |
| #4 | star | +1.32 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | MentalMike | -0.57 | 67 | 66 |





