








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 28% |
| Smokes | 193 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,145 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NarSoSerious | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | csr | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Eclipse | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Johnny Dang | 100% | 5 |
| #5 | Yobama | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nEW hUBLOT | 44 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #2 | Yobama | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | yullD | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Chaka | 15 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | Scrawny579 | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csr | +4.97 | 96 | 76 |
| #2 | KricketMaster69 | +2.34 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Chaka | +0.44 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | Johnny Dang | +0.31 | 48 | 26 |
| #5 | nEW hUBLOT | +0.29 | 64 | 42 |





