








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 14% |
| Smokes | 728 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 463 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 758 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,496 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Albin | 46% | 56 |
| #8 | Baronk Obumbo | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | NeaverY | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | Jaje ✟ | 43% | 58 |
| #11 | Elias | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albin | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | NeaverY | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Jaje ✟ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Morgonovic | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaverY | 167 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jaje ✟ | 163 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Albin | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elias | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | hivefive. | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rotsaC | +5.09 | 60 | 76 |
| #2 | hivefive. | +2.80 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Albin | +2.32 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Morgonovic | +0.13 | 81 | 78 |
| #5 | ТОБОТ пошел нахуй | -0.15 | 70 | 69 |





