








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 27% |
| Smokes | 723 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 375 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,829 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tongue | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Baronk Obumbo | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Jaje ✟ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Albin | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Elias | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jaje ✟ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Albin | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Elias | 54% | 26 |
| #6 | NeaverY | 53% | 36 |
| #7 | pistaren | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albin | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | NeaverY | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Elias | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaverY | 153 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jaje ✟ | 122 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Albin | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elias | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | pistaren | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albin | +1.83 | 55 | 60 |
| #2 | hivefive. | +0.83 | 64 | 56 |
| #3 | NeaverY | +0.46 | 52 | 64 |
| #4 | Jaje ✟ | -0.36 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | Baronk Obumbo | -1.96 | 39 | 34 |





