








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1457 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1493 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1571 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1157 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,259 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tongue | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Baronk Obumbo | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | hivefive. | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | Albin | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | NeaverY | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Albin | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | NeaverY | 51% | 79 |
| #6 | Elias | 45% | 66 |
| #7 | Jullebulle | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | pistaren | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albin | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | NeaverY | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Elias | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | pistaren | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jullebulle | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaverY | 296 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Albin | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | hivefive. | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Elias | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | pistaren | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albin | +2.96 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | hivefive. | +1.46 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | tongue | +0.84 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | NeaverY | -0.30 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | pistaren | -0.31 | 40 | 59 |





