








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 177 | 28% |
| Smokes | 148 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 95 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,259 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lewl | 44% | 71 |
| #2 | Sankka | 36% | 45 |
| #3 | CarlosTheMexican | 36% | 76 |
| #4 | Billy | 34% | 68 |
| #5 | Average Croatia resident | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CarlosTheMexican | 36% | 76 |
| #4 | Billy | 34% | 68 |
| #5 | Average Croatia resident | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | Apina123 | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Mr.Vallu | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlosTheMexican | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | lewl | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Sankka | 7 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Billy | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mr.Vallu | 2 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlosTheMexican | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Billy | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sankka | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | lewl | 104 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr.Vallu | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlosTheMexican | +1.58 | 55 | 66 |
| #2 | lewl | +1.21 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | Sankka | +1.12 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Billy | +0.49 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Mr.Vallu | -3.34 | 40 | 35 |





