








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 279 | 55% |
| Smokes | 3 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 208 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 17 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,864 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Vallu | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Billy | 41% | 39 |
| #3 | Sankka | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | CarlosTheMexican | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | lewl | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sankka | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | CarlosTheMexican | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | lewl | 31% | 36 |
| #6 | Osolul | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Apina123 | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lewl | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Sankka | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Billy | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | CarlosTheMexican | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Mr.Vallu | 2 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | 120 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sankka | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | lewl | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | CarlosTheMexican | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Apina123 | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sankka | +2.11 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Billy | +1.67 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | CarlosTheMexican | +1.00 | 45 | 64 |
| #4 | lewl | +0.17 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Mr.Vallu | -3.78 | 34 | 29 |





