








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2414 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3824 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2621 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3156 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,195,302 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hrtc_ | 66% | 85 |
| #2 | ma5k^ | 55% | 160 |
| #3 | Profesor X | 53% | 129 |
| #4 | Asta | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | Achilles | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Asta | 52% | 152 |
| #5 | Achilles | 49% | 94 |
| #6 | Face^ | 47% | 73 |
| #7 | Darkseid | 45% | 97 |
| #8 | RashH | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asta | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Darkseid | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Achilles | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Profesor X | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | hrtc_ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asta | 569 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Face^ | 359 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | Darkseid | 267 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Profesor X | 253 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ma5k^ | 228 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hrtc_ | +3.72 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | ma5k^ | +1.62 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | Profesor X | +0.24 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | Bella^ | +0.22 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Achilles | -0.47 | 74 | 45 |





