








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
95 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 103 | 17% |
| Smokes | 202 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 113 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 192 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,968 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Loona | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Beans | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | 10dusty | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | skydaguy | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | 11Nut guillotine | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | WülfKorporation | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10dusty | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Beans | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10dusty | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | skydaguy | 23 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 11Nut guillotine | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +7.81 | 60 | 88 |
| #2 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | +5.77 | 94 | 65 |
| #3 | 10dusty | +3.77 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | 11Nut guillotine | +1.25 | 49 | 53 |
| #5 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | +0.82 | 31 | 38 |





