








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1085 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1519 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 791 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,525 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Johnnybob5 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | skydaguy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Loona | 67 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Johnnybob5 | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Xyshaun Cristos | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | +3.63 | 95 | 57 |
| #2 | 10dusty | +3.39 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | Aurora | +0.65 | 42 | 70 |
| #4 | 11Nut guillotine | -0.29 | 46 | 47 |
| #5 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | -1.28 | 32 | 41 |





