








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 101 | 23% |
| Smokes | 94 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,201 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arl0x | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Beans | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | cvar rollmen | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 10dusty | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | Xyshaun Cristos | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Loona | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | BrutusState | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | 11Nut guillotine | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10dusty | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ♥ Swiss ♥ | 1 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Beans | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10dusty | 82 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xyshaun Cristos | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | 11Nut guillotine | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Loona | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟♿ sexy ghanaworm (todd drin | +3.66 | 97 | 64 |
| #2 | 11Nut guillotine | +2.54 | 38 | 56 |
| #3 | 10dusty | +2.41 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | Beans | -0.92 | 81 | 29 |
| #5 | skydaguy | -1.07 | 52 | 52 |





