








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2221 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3288 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2296 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2138 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,512 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faxxyy | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | deep_FRIED | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | dake | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Egahn | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | juice | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | juice | 54% | 54 |
| #6 | Kapoya | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | _Ex0dus_ | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | wham! | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | $oosh | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $oosh | 19 | 0.0224 |
| #2 | deep_FRIED | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | juice | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | dake | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | wham! | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deep_FRIED | 166 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | juice | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Egahn | 119 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | wham! | 59 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kapoya | 58 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wham! | +2.41 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | dake | +1.71 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | Pandaa_Man | +1.31 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | juice | +1.17 | 92 | 59 |
| #5 | _Ex0dus_ | +0.87 | 77 | 54 |





