








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2131 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2478 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 567 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,829 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay ☼ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Nalito ツ | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | TopfenStrudel | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | KGHD_ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Monkey D. Luffy | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ton | 15 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | TopfenStrudel | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | я плохой | 6 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga ヅ | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Monkey D. Luffy | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ton | 260 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | mllerc | 237 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baba Yaga ヅ | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | я плохой | 71 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nalito ツ | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | я плохой | +3.84 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Baba Yaga ヅ | +3.79 | 92 | 62 |
| #3 | Matze2 | +3.35 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Monkey D. Luffy | +2.24 | 85 | 35 |
| #5 | Nalito ツ | +2.12 | 88 | 69 |





