








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1473 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1768 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,720 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stu Pidman | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Matze2 | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | TopfenStrudel | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | mllerc | 39% | 128 |
| #5 | Matze | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matze | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Matze2 | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | TopfenStrudel | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | mllerc | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | DerGeneral | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matze2 | +5.47 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | Monkey D. Luffy | +5.36 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | Stu Pidman | +3.47 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | Matze | +2.23 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Nalito ツ | +2.08 | 87 | 67 |





