








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 19% |
| Smokes | 457 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 695 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,022 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerGeneral | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Matze2 | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | Nalito ツ | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | Matze | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | mllerc | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mllerc | 260 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nalito ツ | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Matze2 | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Baba Yaga ヅ | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Matze | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matze2 | +6.73 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | Matze | +5.64 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Baba Yaga ヅ | +5.30 | 93 | 60 |
| #4 | Nalito ツ | +2.56 | 86 | 70 |
| #5 | TopfenStrudel | -0.20 | 59 | 44 |





