








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 197 | 24% |
| Smokes | 158 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 218 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 250 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,404 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dirty Bubble | 32 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | blake.johnson fan | 25 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 10 | 0.0260 |
| #4 | #feed.mee crab | 6 | 0.0245 |
| #5 | Creature | 5 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dirty Bubble | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | blake.johnson fan | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 <2 | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Creature | 19 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Dr Baljeet | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dirty Bubble | +3.10 | 32 | 24 |
| #2 | Creature | +1.31 | 50 | 42 |
| #3 | Jimmy Jugglenuts | +0.03 | 5 | 15 |
| #4 | blake.johnson fan | -0.43 | 39 | 19 |
| #5 | Mr Dr Baljeet | -1.35 | 35 | 1 |





