








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 967 | 24% |
| Smokes | 973 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 973 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,338 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | alannn | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | evman | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | murph | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | GOD | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | alannn | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | evman | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | murph | 52% | 84 |
| #5 | GOD | 49% | 87 |
| #6 | rTx | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOD | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | evman | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | alannn | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOD | 422 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | murph | 305 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | evman | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | rTx | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | iguana | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | +3.09 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | The Snizzler | +2.15 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | murph | +2.02 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | GOD | +1.26 | 91 | 62 |
| #5 | evman | -1.77 | 68 | 56 |





