








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1422 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1314 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1166 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 174 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,141 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achieved a state of euphoria | 61% | 94 |
| #2 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | Geodude | 51% | 77 |
| #4 | diamond lungs | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | Geodude | 51% | 77 |
| #4 | diamond lungs | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | coldestboogz | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diamond lungs | 16 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | coldestboogz | 6 | 0.0297 |
| #4 | achieved a state of euphoria | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achieved a state of euphoria | 245 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Geodude | 183 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | diamond lungs | 153 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olok ⭕⃤ | +2.12 | 53 | 58 |
| #2 | achieved a state of euphoria | +1.83 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | +0.75 | 64 | 42 |
| #4 | diamond lungs | -0.30 | 54 | 44 |
| #5 | WHITEGUYGAMING | -0.78 | 47 | 50 |





