








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 262 | 27% |
| Smokes | 242 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 227 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,639 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achieved a state of euphoria | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | Geodude | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | diamond lungs | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | olok ⭕⃤ | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | diamond lungs | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | olok ⭕⃤ | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | coldestboogz | 30% | 10 |
| #7 | Conk | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diamond lungs | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | coldestboogz | 5 | 0.0229 |
| #3 | olok ⭕⃤ | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | achieved a state of euphoria | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | WHITEGUYGAMING | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achieved a state of euphoria | 163 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Geodude | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | diamond lungs | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | olok ⭕⃤ | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | coldestboogz | 37 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olok ⭕⃤ | +2.23 | 51 | 61 |
| #2 | achieved a state of euphoria | +2.12 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | coldestboogz | +1.22 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | Otaku オサマビンラデン | +1.21 | 68 | 40 |
| #5 | diamond lungs | -0.87 | 57 | 46 |





