








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 963 | 30% |
| Smokes | 594 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1127 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,382 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woriez | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Johannes | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | Pumpalicious | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Milnex | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | bellyaches | 43% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Johannes | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | Pumpalicious | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Milnex | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | bellyaches | 43% | 63 |
| #6 | Ryza | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Milnex | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | bellyaches | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Woriez | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Ryza | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milnex | 456 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | bellyaches | 305 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | Johannes | 258 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pumpalicious | 244 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #5 | Woriez | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumpalicious | +2.49 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | Milnex | +1.59 | 54 | 88 |
| #3 | Teh | +1.45 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | Johannes | +0.40 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | Woriez | -1.57 | 46 | 43 |





