








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3218 | 59% |
| Smokes | 1179 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,440 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milnex | 57% | 183 |
| #2 | Johannes | 53% | 128 |
| #3 | Woriez | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Teh | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | bellyaches | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milnex | 57% | 183 |
| #2 | Johannes | 53% | 128 |
| #3 | Woriez | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Teh | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | bellyaches | 50% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milnex | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Johannes | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | bellyaches | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Woriez | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Teh | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milnex | 1123 | 0.31 | 30 min |
| #2 | Johannes | 344 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | bellyaches | 314 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Woriez | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Teh | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumpalicious | +2.72 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Milnex | +0.86 | 57 | 88 |
| #3 | Teh | +0.43 | 87 | 48 |
| #4 | Johannes | -1.04 | 47 | 66 |
| #5 | Woriez | -2.65 | 37 | 30 |





