








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1440 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1343 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 827 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,420 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csani | 49% | 72 |
| #2 | riddim company worker | 48% | 101 |
| #3 | Spacewar company worker | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | espuma | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | uk government worker | 39% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | riddim company worker | 48% | 101 |
| #3 | Spacewar company worker | 47% | 103 |
| #4 | espuma | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | uk government worker | 39% | 105 |
| #6 | СЅ2 car | 36% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spacewar company worker | 26 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | espuma | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | csani | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | uk government worker | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | riddim company worker | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spacewar company worker | 310 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | uk government worker | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | espuma | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | csani | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | СЅ2 car | 58 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rick | +2.12 | 60 | 60 |
| #2 | Spacewar company worker | +1.62 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | csani | +0.87 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | espuma | -1.39 | 43 | 56 |
| #5 | uk government worker | -1.71 | 41 | 59 |





