








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 489 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2157 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2032 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1191 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,842 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csani | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | Spacewar company worker | 41% | 91 |
| #3 | espuma | 40% | 92 |
| #4 | uk government worker | 38% | 117 |
| #5 | riddim company worker | 37% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | espuma | 40% | 92 |
| #4 | uk government worker | 38% | 117 |
| #5 | riddim company worker | 37% | 87 |
| #6 | rick | 36% | 89 |
| #7 | fag anal gay sex (disgusting ) | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spacewar company worker | 25 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | espuma | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | rick | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | uk government worker | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | csani | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spacewar company worker | 264 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | uk government worker | 136 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | espuma | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | rick | 93 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | csani | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rick | +2.14 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | Spacewar company worker | +2.12 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | csani | +0.89 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | espuma | -0.21 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | fag anal gay sex (disgusting ) | -1.12 | 67 | 40 |





