










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5719 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5392 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3409 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2987 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,626 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | de_rebby | 48% | 148 |
| #8 | P[1]ra Ev2 | 48% | 65 |
| #9 | Aleex93 | 45% | 112 |
| #10 | Modric Shaolin ^_^ | 37% | 79 |
| #11 | asier -0€ | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleex93 | 29 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | JRS | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Modric Shaolin ^_^ | 11 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Arastor | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | de_rebby | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRS | 644 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #2 | Aleex93 | 412 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | de_rebby | 366 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | P[1]ra Ev2 | 358 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | SrLubina$ | 284 | 0.19 | 6 min |





