










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 33% |
| Smokes | 774 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 423 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,112 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobe | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | TRIPLUS | 92% | 12 |
| #3 | ari | 87% | 15 |
| #4 | foggers | 81% | 16 |
| #5 | monkeythunder63 | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kiyo | 75% | 4 |
| #7 | elfmelk | 67% | 6 |
| #8 | mizzy | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | chron | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | tucks | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkeythunder63 | 2 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | foggers | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ari | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | TRIPLUS | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | elfmelk | 1 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foggers | 96 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | TRIPLUS | 75 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #3 | ari | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kiyo | 22 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kobe | 19 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elfmelk | +5.33 | 95 | 71 |
| #2 | Kiyo | +4.82 | 90 | 43 |
| #3 | gump | +3.10 | 91 | 71 |
| #4 | foggers | +2.86 | 85 | 70 |
| #5 | TRIPLUS | +2.68 | 90 | 73 |





