








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2421 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1617 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,825 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gump | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | foggers | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | Kobe | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | ari | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | Noogz | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gump | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | foggers | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | Kobe | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | ari | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | Noogz | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foggers | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foggers | 116 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | ari | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Noogz | 56 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | gump | 44 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kobe | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRIPLUS | +4.78 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | foggers | +3.05 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | gump | +2.90 | 90 | 80 |
| #4 | ari | +2.08 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Kobe | +0.62 | 85 | 66 |





