








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2985 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2493 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1682 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,726 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAH | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | foggers | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | prakM | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | minnii | 70% | 103 |
| #5 | boygenius | 68% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | bryaz | 54% | 24 |
| #14 | evelynrawr | 53% | 40 |
| #15 | BURNRUOk <TurtleBeach> | 52% | 21 |
| #16 | Pierce | 42% | 19 |
| #17 | jake | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˹morganne˼ | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | minnii | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | prakM | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | towski | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Diddy Did It | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minnii | 345 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | boygenius | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | TRIPLUS | 176 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | towski | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ˹morganne˼ | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRIPLUS | +2.53 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | prakM | +2.53 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Llamas in Pyjamas | +2.36 | 90 | 46 |
| #4 | ari | +2.22 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | foggers | +2.04 | 82 | 66 |





