








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 549 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3548 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6861 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4853 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5923 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,159,063 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Fassan | 51% | 156 |
| #8 | hamdenhurtige | 51% | 139 |
| #9 | TAS | 50% | 446 |
| #10 | Cresco | 49% | 279 |
| #11 | Jylkatten | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | TAS | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Cresco | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | hamdenhurtige | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Jylkatten | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | 1586 | 0.14 | 48 min |
| #2 | TAS | 1426 | 0.15 | 39 min |
| #3 | Cresco | 300 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | hamdenhurtige | 273 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | toucheD | 266 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAS | +1.35 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Yipihh | +1.21 | 68 | 81 |
| #3 | toucheD | +0.52 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | Maui | -0.08 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | hamdenhurtige | -0.26 | 49 | 60 |





