








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 497 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7670 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5686 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3894 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3745 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,727,929 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRAT | 58% | 88 |
| #2 | Mash | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | toucheD | 55% | 172 |
| #4 | Fassan | 53% | 152 |
| #5 | Egotistical | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Yipihh | 51% | 453 |
| #8 | Maui | 50% | 446 |
| #9 | Jylkatten | 49% | 57 |
| #10 | Cresco | 49% | 263 |
| #11 | hamdenhurtige | 48% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Cresco | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Fassan | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Maui | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | toucheD | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | 1337 | 0.14 | 40 min |
| #2 | Maui | 376 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cresco | 278 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | toucheD | 229 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | hamdenhurtige | 205 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAS | +1.42 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | Yipihh | +1.17 | 68 | 80 |
| #3 | toucheD | +0.17 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | Maui | -0.25 | 49 | 54 |
| #5 | hamdenhurtige | -0.72 | 48 | 60 |





