








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 553 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7306 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9235 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5396 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6795 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,857,949 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Maui | 52% | 511 |
| #8 | Cresco | 51% | 272 |
| #9 | TAS | 51% | 453 |
| #10 | hamdenhurtige | 51% | 138 |
| #11 | Jylkatten | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAS | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Maui | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Fassan | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Jylkatten | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Cresco | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAS | 1423 | 0.15 | 39 min |
| #2 | Maui | 436 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cresco | 300 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | hamdenhurtige | 279 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | toucheD | 264 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TAS | +1.42 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Yipihh | +1.32 | 68 | 80 |
| #3 | toucheD | +0.25 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | hamdenhurtige | -0.23 | 49 | 60 |
| #5 | Maui | -0.29 | 48 | 54 |





