








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8284 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9179 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7097 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6051 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,665 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leb | 63% | 138 |
| #2 | Brad_y | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | jiggs | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | swim5alive | 53% | 253 |
| #5 | Peejay | 53% | 255 |





