










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 433 | 35% |
| Smokes | 161 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 402 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,809 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim5alive | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | B1az3n | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Adderall Sandwich | 38% | 48 |
| #4 | Peejay | 26% | 19 |
| #5 | Brad_y | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim5alive | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | B1az3n | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Adderall Sandwich | 38% | 48 |
| #4 | Peejay | 26% | 19 |
| #5 | Brad_y | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adderall Sandwich | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adderall Sandwich | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | swim5alive | 78 | 0.52 | 2 min |
| #3 | Peejay | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | B1az3n | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brad_y | 15 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swim5alive | +2.58 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Adderall Sandwich | +1.90 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | Peejay | -0.41 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | B1az3n | -0.99 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | insulinaddict | -1.78 | 48 | 53 |





