








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1151 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 945 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,551 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luc39 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | RALF SIGGL 1DEAG DIGGI | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | was verrichtet der hund | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | PREMIERwerner | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | makusha | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RALF SIGGL 1DEAG DIGGI | +5.98 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | makusha | +3.92 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | PREMIERwerner | +1.65 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | Nico Santos | +1.49 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | luc39 | +1.38 | 84 | 72 |





