








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1217 | 29% |
| Smokes | 817 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,926 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astolfo | 46% | 133 |
| #2 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | fart | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | VioletSkyy | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astolfo | 46% | 133 |
| #2 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | fart | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | VioletSkyy | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astolfo | 32 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | fart | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | VioletSkyy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astolfo | 160 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sara Lynn's Pills | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | fart | 29 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | VioletSkyy | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astolfo | +4.31 | 61 | 34 |
| #2 | Sara Lynn's Pills | -0.44 | 16 | 36 |
| #3 | VioletSkyy | -0.86 | 30 | 17 |
| #4 | fart | -1.32 | 54 | 23 |
| #5 | promisetoariane | -1.79 | 34 | 32 |





