








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 434 | 34% |
| Smokes | 300 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 249 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 289 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,176 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bertyb00 | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | MBS | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Quas | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | SeaBo* | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | tthaveneot22 | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MBS | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Quas | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | SeaBo* | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | tthaveneot22 | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | shippie | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bertyb00 | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Quas | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | MBS | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quas | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | MBS | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | SeaBo* | 33 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | bertyb00 | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | tthaveneot22 | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bertyb00 | +2.98 | 81 | 45 |
| #2 | SeaBo* | +1.77 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | MBS | +1.44 | 70 | 41 |
| #4 | rhys | +1.43 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | tthaveneot22 | +0.87 | 82 | 42 |





