








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 741 matches | ||
| Faceit | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14779 | 30% |
| Smokes | 14016 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8570 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 12130 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,461,896 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | techno | 63% | 128 |
| #2 | Teng | 63% | 115 |
| #3 | sMacK tAlK# | 57% | 160 |
| #4 | Stevie2Kerr | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | 2iq | 50% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sMacK tAlK# | 442 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Teng | 400 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | techno | 357 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | 2iq | 276 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stevie2Kerr | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeaBo* | +2.09 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | techno | +0.06 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Teng | -0.21 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | sMacK tAlK# | -1.01 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Stevie2Kerr | -1.55 | 71 | 73 |





