








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1178 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,236 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | We Todd Ed | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | captain crunch | 65% | 84 |
| #3 | ChickenLiver | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | Krissy | 54% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | We Todd Ed | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | captain crunch | 65% | 84 |
| #3 | ChickenLiver | 60% | 73 |
| #4 | Krissy | 54% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krissy | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | captain crunch | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ChickenLiver | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | We Todd Ed | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krissy | 853 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #2 | ChickenLiver | 441 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | captain crunch | 403 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | We Todd Ed | 243 | 0.39 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain crunch | +4.72 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | We Todd Ed | +3.85 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | ChickenLiver | +0.95 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | Krissy | +0.61 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | Susboy シ | -1.06 | 48 | 51 |





