








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1348 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1462 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,961 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poesys | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Daddy Vladdy | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | LeGeek | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Rabbit シ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | 123 | 55% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | maks | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Nashy | 52% | 50 |
| #8 | v0re | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | DongerLore | 50% | 64 |
| #10 | Welard | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DongerLore | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Welard | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | LeGeek | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | maks | 4 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | 123 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 503 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | DongerLore | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Nashy | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rabbit シ | 100 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Welard | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbit シ | +4.17 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | v0re | +3.91 | 89 | 45 |
| #3 | maks | +2.97 | 88 | 47 |
| #4 | mッtt | +1.46 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | 123 | +1.08 | 79 | 67 |





