








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1736 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1737 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1443 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,933 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich bin Noah | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Tony Ravioli | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Perplex | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | A Silly Raccoon | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | La Flama Blanca | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tony Ravioli | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Perplex | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | A Silly Raccoon | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | La Flama Blanca | 44% | 63 |
| #6 | SPIN TEST!! | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich bin Noah | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | La Flama Blanca | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Tony Ravioli | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Flama Blanca | 172 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ich bin Noah | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | A Silly Raccoon | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | SPIN TEST!! | 23 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tony Ravioli | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Flama Blanca | +2.33 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Tony Ravioli | +1.15 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Ich bin Noah | +0.98 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | ✪Vestr0 | +0.29 | 43 | 76 |
| #5 | SPIN TEST!! | -1.10 | 45 | 66 |





