








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2461 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2475 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,702 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExSpenS | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | n0nner ♡ S | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | xX_OGdsverOG_Xx | 58% | 89 |
| #4 | Llama | 53% | 182 |
| #5 | Fakesmile | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fakesmile | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | 「HNANDRA」 | 51% | 265 |
| #7 | Jerry | 50% | 221 |
| #8 | glohed | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | St@in | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「HNANDRA」 | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Jerry | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | glohed | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Llama | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | xX_OGdsverOG_Xx | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「HNANDRA」 | 1750 | 0.30 | 44 min |
| #2 | Jerry | 714 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Llama | 670 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #4 | xX_OGdsverOG_Xx | 262 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | glohed | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExSpenS | +2.01 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | xX_OGdsverOG_Xx | +1.23 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | Llama | +1.00 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Jerry | +0.93 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | n0nner ♡ S | +0.79 | 61 | 65 |





