








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2848 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3081 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2916 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2919 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,021 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaki | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | KurtTHEGREAT | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | -Leth | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | Fakesmile | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | zT Pure | 53% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Izanagii Sama | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | ‹SilenZZ› | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | ExSpenS | 47% | 105 |
| #11 | Llama | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | 「HNANDRA」 | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St@in | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ExSpenS | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jaki | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | KurtTHEGREAT | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | -Leth | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Leth | 324 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | zT Pure | 293 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | St@in | 196 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | 「HNANDRA」 | 179 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | ExSpenS | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaki | +3.24 | 96 | 65 |
| #2 | zT Pure | +2.52 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Llama | +1.98 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | -Leth | +0.82 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | St@in | +0.33 | 72 | 56 |





