








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 917 | 31% |
| Smokes | 774 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 637 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 644 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,131 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ditro | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 0da | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | vukalukadin | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | neonekki | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | nefko | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cat Explode | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | do jet | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | jetpans(uki) | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | xx44pp4422 | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | Spaghet | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xx44pp4422 | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | jetpans(uki) | 3 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | nefko | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Spaghet | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | neonekki | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nefko | 150 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | 0da | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | jetpans(uki) | 49 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | xx44pp4422 | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | do jet | 30 | 0.11 | 0 min |





