








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1765 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1767 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1683 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1592 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,549 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liùliùliù | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | do jet | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | xx44pp4422 | 57% | 72 |
| #4 | Spaghet | 56% | 50 |
| #5 | neonekki | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jetpans(uki) | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | tomi | 51% | 37 |
| #8 | cmVOIDlord | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | Cat Explode | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | 0da | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xx44pp4422 | 19 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Spaghet | 13 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | neonekki | 10 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | tomi | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | jetpans(uki) | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jetpans(uki) | 163 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Spaghet | 159 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | tomi | 140 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | xx44pp4422 | 116 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | do jet | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaghet | +2.38 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | nefko | +1.29 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | do jet | +1.24 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | liùliùliù | +1.01 | 84 | 66 |
| #5 | xx44pp4422 | +0.88 | 74 | 49 |





