








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3354 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3630 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3322 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2422 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,009 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amorek | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | jesus. | 56% | 89 |
| #3 | Hopsal | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Hobojas | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Krejzy | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hobojas | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | Krejzy | 53% | 53 |
| #6 | HoppiK | 53% | 99 |
| #7 | Duranga !! | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | Asas1ne | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoppiK | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | jesus. | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Hobojas | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Hopsal | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Krejzy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoppiK | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | jesus. | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Duranga !! | 140 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hobojas | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Krejzy | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duranga !! | +2.68 | 37 | 86 |
| #2 | Asas1ne | +1.94 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | HoppiK | +1.61 | 54 | 70 |
| #4 | Hobojas | +0.94 | 47 | 70 |
| #5 | jesus. | +0.66 | 46 | 64 |





