








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 52% |
| Smokes | 66 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 76 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,124 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙠𝙚𝙣𝙕 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | riko | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Orangutan.exe | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | The Plague | 50% | 144 |
| #5 | weed | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | riko | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Orangutan.exe | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | The Plague | 50% | 144 |
| #5 | weed | 33% | 18 |
| #6 | Serious Dude | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Plague | 15 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Orangutan.exe | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | weed | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | riko | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Plague | 382 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Orangutan.exe | 145 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Serious Dude | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | weed | 23 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | riko | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orangutan.exe | +5.15 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | riko | +3.05 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Kenny Racks | +1.08 | 77 | 9 |
| #4 | The Plague | +0.19 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | weed | -1.99 | 82 | 42 |





