








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




230 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7679 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6789 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7219 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4231 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,005 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Jeremy the 1st | 55% | 129 |
| #2 | FUTURE AI VOICE | 53% | 355 |
| #3 | Dr. G | 52% | 1021 |
| #4 | She Like The Way That I Woo | 44% | 434 |
| #5 | minato | 43% | 473 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. G | 2082 | 0.10 | 58 min |
| #2 | FUTURE AI VOICE | 967 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | She Like The Way That I Woo | 616 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | King Jeremy the 1st | 214 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | minato | 151 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. G | +7.15 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | King Jeremy the 1st | +5.79 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | FUTURE AI VOICE | +1.76 | 60 | 44 |
| #4 | She Like The Way That I Woo | +0.83 | 46 | 36 |
| #5 | minato | -1.94 | 2 | 26 |





