








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 271 matches | ||
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




241 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12793 | 26% |
| Smokes | 12983 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 13684 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9849 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,876,265 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FUTURE AI VOICE | 54% | 537 |
| #2 | King Jeremy the 1st | 53% | 326 |
| #3 | < blank > | 52% | 1021 |
| #4 | She Like The Way That I Woo | 49% | 561 |
| #5 | minato | 46% | 472 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 162 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | minato | 92 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | FUTURE AI VOICE | 68 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | She Like The Way That I Woo | 35 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | King Jeremy the 1st | 31 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 1687 | 0.08 | 33 min |
| #2 | FUTURE AI VOICE | 1308 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #3 | She Like The Way That I Woo | 948 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #4 | King Jeremy the 1st | 387 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | minato | 134 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. G | +5.54 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | King Jeremy the 1st | +3.52 | 65 | 49 |
| #3 | FUTURE AI VOICE | +0.62 | 61 | 43 |
| #4 | She Like The Way That I Woo | +0.06 | 46 | 35 |
| #5 | minato | -3.05 | 2 | 25 |





