








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1012 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1094 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1017 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,738 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiBS | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Henio | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | Ritozen | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | TYSMAAH | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiBS | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Henio | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | Ritozen | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | TYSMAAH | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henio | 18 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | TYSMAAH | 16 | 0.0360 |
| #3 | jiBS | 14 | 0.0297 |
| #4 | Ritozen | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ritozen | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Henio | 133 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | TYSMAAH | 116 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | jiBS | 100 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYSMAAH | +3.05 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Corps | +1.42 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | Ritozen | -0.16 | 47 | 57 |
| #4 | jiBS | -0.33 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | Henio | -0.89 | 52 | 54 |





