










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3753 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2396 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5391 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3472 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,039,269 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 956 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pineapple | 71% | 49 |
| #2 | iCOPE | 63% | 63 |
| #3 | therk | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | Reborn | 55% | 173 |
| #5 | Wqlly | 52% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | therk | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | Reborn | 55% | 173 |
| #5 | Wqlly | 52% | 294 |
| #6 | sLeep | 51% | 173 |
| #7 | OH LAWDY GAMING! | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLeep | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Reborn | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wqlly | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | pineapple | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | iCOPE | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLeep | 846 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Wqlly | 663 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | Reborn | 256 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | OH LAWDY GAMING! | 185 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | pineapple | 111 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pineapple | +1.78 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | therk | +1.53 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | xMello | +1.51 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Wqlly | +0.20 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | iCOPE | +0.02 | 74 | 44 |





